Stuck

I went to a meeting yesterday, full of hope, fully motivated, with direction, and one of my committee members (another one of them was also there, but the main one was not there like I thought he would be), read over my latest draft with "meh" kinds of feedback and suggested a new idea for the context of my research that everybody else seemed to think was the best idea ever.  I was so upset that he didn't have that enthusiasm for the direction I was going, and I felt physically ill at the idea of having to start over.  Again.  It's the end of the next working day, and I figured if I felt that bad, I would just go back to my previous topic.  But I still feel physically ill from yesterday's experience.  And I lost all my motivation and direction.  I'm not sure I know how to write anymore.  I don't know my topic, I don't know what's cool about it, and I don't know where to go from here.  And because it's MY project, no one can tell me the answers to those questions except myself.  This is the problem with a Ph.D.

Sometimes this kind of experience doesn't bother me at all, and that's nice.  Other days it bulldozes me over and I can't get up for a few days.

I feel like I get like this--with this same, deep disappointment and physically ill feeling--at least once every two weeks.  It starts to wear on a person.

I call it "stuck."